Self Care Makes You A Better Parent
Ahh back to school.
Some parents breathe a sigh of relief, knowing they have a little more time on their hands. Some are dreading the crazy schedules for drop off and pick up, and after school activities. Those who prioritize self-care, are confident they can handle whatever stress the new school year brings.
It’s easy as a parent, to pour everything you have into this very special job of raising kids. Maybe you’re also taking care of your parents or other family members. But what about you?
The practice of giving without receiving, eventually leads to resentment even in the best of people. You may become mentally and physically exhausted and feel taken for granted. Then you lose patience, becoming short tempered and agitated from the demands.
The negative energy you carry from a lack of self-care, and self-love, can harm your kids. They don’t understand you need a break, so they feel like they are the cause of your problems. You may feel like they are too, but sorry, it’s definitely not them… It’s you. I know that may offend some, but this is empowering to realize. When you know it is you, then you have the power to change it.
Taking care of your mind and body should be a daily priority. When you feel good, you emit a level of contentment and peace that helps kids to feel safe in your presence. It is easier to love others, when you love yourself.
First, check in with yourself. What are your needs? A morning meditation or walk can be very helpful in being able to tune in to your body. Drink enough water each day to avoid exhaustion. Find a workout class that works with your schedule, maybe one that offers daycare.
When my kids were babies, I would take a walk with them every day. First with a baby in a front pack, then in the stroller, then two kids in a double stroller! I did this every day. It was entertainment for them, and it helped me get outside and get a good workout at the same time. Take breaks if you are a full-time caregiver. When they nap, lay down and relax. Roll out a yoga mat in the room with your kids and put on a video or join me for a live class on zoom. Let your kids see you taking care of yourself. This will teach them to do it for themselves.
Schedule time with a friend for a lunch or for a hike. It’s so important to maintain your connection to you. So often we lose ourselves in our “roles”, but our roles are not really us. We still have our individual lives to lead as time marches on.
I am about to send my daughter off to college out of state and I’ve had countless Moms asking me how I am doing, with worried looks on their faces. But I am truly okay. I am excited for my daughter and look forward to an adult relationship with her.
I know this is because I have prioritized my connection to myself. I have my own life and goals. If I was too attached to my role as Mom, it would be hard to feel her slipping away, as I would be lost and aimless.
What I am saying is this, it is not selfish to care for yourself. When you take care of yourself, you show up for life with positive, confident energy, and what an amazing example that is to your kids. This makes you a better feeling, more well-equipped parent and person who can handle whatever life brings you. You can do this.