Do You Have a Fear of Joy?

You may be afraid of Joy and not even realize it. Joy is that all encompassing feeling that embodies love, peace, gratitude, and pure happiness all at once. It is immeasurable, expansive, and full of light. And through no fault of their own, that can scare the living shit out of some people.

Joy can provoke a fear response in the body of some, that squash the feelings almost as soon as they come in. If this is you, then within seconds from the time a feeling of joy so powerfully lands on you, a dark wave comes in to set you straight.

This happens when joy is the opposite of your comfort zone. Some of us were conditioned to have comfort zones that are dark, scary, and unpredictable. It’s hard to imagine a dark and scary place as comfortable, but if that is what you are used to, then that is likely your comfort zone.

If this is sounds like you, you are used to your fight or flight response being activated regularly. You may have grown up in an environment where there was a lot of fighting in the house. As a child, you were possibly exposed to unpredictable people like alcoholics, or those with mental illness. Maybe your homes and/or neighborhood was unsafe and you had little protection and inconsistent comfort and love. Fear and unpredictable situations are what you know.

Joy however, creates a peaceful release in the body and brings a feeling of expansion and warmth that goes beyond the physical. Joy carries a very high vibration that is akin to being fully soulfully connected. If you spend most of your time in a contracted state, this can really freak you out. So you experience a moment of pure joy (a birth/love/connection to source), a wave of good feelings that warm you up to the world, and your soul connects to this immediately. But then, the (ego) jumps in to the rescue to remind you that “good things never last” and “to just wait till the other shoe drops”. Or it may have you worrying with mistrust, “what’s the catch”?

So the darkness wins, and an actual clenching happens in the heart space to shut out the Joy so you can put your armor back on. Even the simple worry and wondering when the joy will go away, can make it disappear by bringing you down to a lower energetic vibration. From this place it is way more difficult to attract more joyful experiences. In an odd way that feels safe, because that is what you are familiar with.

Bottom line. A comfort zone can be unbelievably uncomfortable, but the familiarity of it keeps us there. This explains how and why people stay in toxic and even abusive relationships. In a relationship with someone unpredictable and on the darker side, joy doesn’t really exist. You are always on the edge. The ups always carry with them the feeling of a lurking darkness. If it is what you grew up knowing how to handle, as a comfortable pattern you will continue to seek it out and/or stay in it.

I’ve watched my Mom reside in this place her whole life, where joy never quite hits. I took a lot of that on myself from a very young age. And even though I’ve done a lot of healing work over the last several years using Reiki energy healing, meditation, affirmations and journaling, I still have my moments when the ego tries to quell my Joy. It just doesn’t get very far.

I stay present with the reaction in my body and watch it as if I am a third party observer. This is where the power lies. In awareness. When joy is allowed to linger long enough for the light to outshine and overpower the darkness, is when we raise our vibration permanently. It’s when we attract more love into our life than reasons to hate. It’s when peace resides way more than agitation. It’s when we attract more joy into our life, than we do reasons to fear it.

It doesn’t mean we never again encounter darkness and fear. We need the duality of darkness and light in our human world. It helps us to recognize what is for us and what isn’t. It just means that when we do experience negativity and darkness, it is noticeably uncomfortable and not where we want to spend much time. We then can act accordingly, feel our feelings, and process them so we may move beyond the darkness and back into the light.

If you want to help move your comfort zone into something way more comfortable, that will actually calm your nervous system rather than set it off, start with meditation and/or breath work. Yes it can be challenging at first, but so can anything. Practice. Plug into your peaceful presence so you can attract more light into your life. Be consistent. Or schedule a Reiki session with me so you can get a feel for your baseline peaceful self.

Notice when your thoughts take you down darker roads. Feel the difference in your body when you notice the good things in life, versus when your focus is on the bad.

It is possible to reset your comfort zone and your whole nervous system. I did it, and I know you can too.

Joy is your birthright.