Five Days of Cheesecake

I just finished off 5 days in a row of eating cheesecake.

From Thanksgiving on, double layer pumpkin cheesecake every single night. Yes, it is a special occasion and yes, I only have this cheesecake once a year, so it’s fine. I don’t feel guilty over it. Yet I am feeling things.

From the position of rarely eating refined sugar treats, and having a clean diet mostly and so a mostly clean feeling in my body and mind, I feel markedly different.

Depressed.

Not depressed like sadness necessarily. Depressed like I feel like something is pressing on me energetically. Like my soul is being slowly suffocated. I can feel that I am still there, in the sense that I am aware of myself and I trust I can’t lose myself, but I feel like nothingness.

Not a peaceful meditative nothingness, which is lovely of course.

No, more like a blah and pointless nothingness.

My mind isn’t judging me, I’m not sure it has the bandwidth. And It’s not really functioning well with the tasks it needs to do either. I am going through the motions, without any sense of inspiration.

The sun just began shining on my face and I feel my aliveness is still here.

Sun is shining and I have just enough energy to get my face in it. Much like this pup!

Last night was the final night/slice of my cheesecake, though I tried to make the night before, the last night. I went so far as to take it out to the garage freezer to be saved for the far future, which turned out to be less than 20 hours later. Ever notice that when you are trying to finish off something like a cheesecake, how the last couple of times you eat it, you hardly enjoy it at all? There isn’t the mmmm this is amazing feeling. It has been replaced by “I’ve gotta get this out of here - there’s no other way!” And it doesn’t even feel good at that point.

The addiction of it is literally like alcohol. Worse in fact. They say that sugar addiction is more likened to a heroin addiction. Since I have never and will never try heroin, I compare it to alcohol, in that they have a similar aftermath. Feeling like shit. Alcohol and sugar are my kryptonite, and I knew enough to quit alcohol completely quite some time ago. Sugar is obviously not likely to be quit completely. It’s not so easy.

However, I can respect the fact that sugar needs to be realized with some serious awareness as well. My typical practice of indulgence is to have a smidge of dark chocolate every day, and I feel fine with that. There is no sense of not getting enough of it, likely because it doesn’t have the same refined sugars.

But this sugar ladened cheesecake... So gross. I feel a layer of tension and discomfort in my physical body that is so totally draining.

Okay the soul is depressed, my energy is definitely low, and I can sense that if I was able to see my aura, it would be muddy right now with a layer of fog.  I also almost fell for a scam, so I am not completely with all of my wits about me. I feel highly unmotivated, and like my creativity (since it is coming from my soul self) has been shut off. I feel subtle inflammation in my body. Which was probably the first clue that I chose to ignore (muscle pain). All from just 5 days in a row of refined sugar consumption!

It is a damn good thing I had learned to shut off my judgmental thoughts already, because the inner critic would be going crazy over this. Nope. Just fog.

I guess that is why it is easier for me to see what is going on here.

But I think about all of the people who regularly consume things like alcohol and sugar as part of their every day diet. Do they just think this is how they are supposed to feel? Do they normally just feel fatigue, and that they are always going to be in pain, that they lack motivation, and feel generally low? How could one possibly dig themselves out of a ditch, when they think that they are the ditch?

If you feel all of those things or even some of them – check your diet.

We are what we consume, whether that be the mind or the body.

I am so grateful that I understand what my normal baseline “feel good” body is. And, that my regular routine involves eating mostly healthy foods, avoiding alcohol, and/or only rarely indulging in refined sugars. It is so crucial to find your baseline healthy, so that you understand what is and what is not, a normal feeling for you to have in your body.

Let me tell you from experience, that feeling low energy, depressed, foggy, and having chronic inflammation like achy joints and tight muscles is not something we should consider normal.

More than likely, you are suffering from something you may be consuming.

It is so crucial to figure out what your kryptonite is, (refined sugars and alcohol affect everyone negatively if they are overused), remove it completely from your diet, and bring yourself to a baseline feeling of good health.

When you know your baseline, you know when you have crossed over it.

For now, take it from me.

Have enough people around to help you consume that cheesecake the first night, so you won’t have to widdle it down over the course of many days and depress your system completely. It’s okay to indulge for a day or perhaps two. However, beyond that, the body is in a constant battle trying to defend itself from the toxic overload.

Have fun, but not too much “fun”, this holiday season…